Hello, Orbiteers! For my first post here, I thought I’d share with you a day in my life as an urban fantasy author. Brace yourself. The reality ain’t pretty.

6:15 Wake up and stumble downstairs to start coffee. Heads will roll if I am out of this life-saving, life-affirming elixir.

6:30 Get Spawn dressed and fed.

7:20 Drive Spawn to school. He’s wearing jeans and t-shirt. I’m in PJs and slippers. Yes, I’m that mom.

7:40 Return home, chug another cup or three of coffee. Boot up ye olde Internet. Check email, Twitter, Facebook, Google Reader, IM. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

10:00 Finally shame self into closing down Internet.

10:30 Really shame self into closing down Internet. Sometimes crowbar is necessary.

10:40 Okay, really, SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET.

11:00 The cursor taunts me. Winking, winking, winking. Write a few words. Delete them. Write a few more words. Reach for coffee mug. It’s empty. Get up for a refill.

11:30 Didn’t we already talk about this Internet thing? Seriously.

11:45 Have one page done. Convince self its drivel. Reread, nitpick, move some sentences around.

12:30 Stomach starts growling. Stumble downstairs for chocolate and more coffee. Crap, the pot’s empty. Switch to Diet Coke. My kidneys surrender.

1:00 Actually writing now. Hmm, this is pretty good. Characters are behav– Crap, where did you come from? I didn’t plan on having a weremonkey in this story. But you’re kind of awesome. Make notes to go back and work weremonkey plot into earlier pages.

1:15 Begin Googling weremonkeys. Because, you know, research. Somehow end up on Amazon to check my sales rank. Make the mistake of Googling self. Shamed into getting back to work.

3:00 Hey, somehow I’ve managed to write six-to-ten workable pages. That means it’s time for a reward. Let’s see if anything’s happening on Twitter. Oh, look, all my author friends are procrastinating too. Convince self this is promo and spend an hour making jokes about weremonkeys.

4:00 Realize I’m still in PJs. Rush to take shower and put on real clothes before husband gets home.

5:00 Mr. Jaye gets home. Asks me how my day was. I tell him I’m very excited about weremonkeys. He gives me The Look. Tells me he spent his day in meetings and fighting traffic. I pity him. He asks if I did any laundry since everyone in the house is out of clean underpants. I laugh at him. We go get Spawn.

5:30 After my stressful day, I simply can not cook. We eat at one of the restaurants we cycle through each week.

6:30 Get home, help Spawn do homework. Then it’s his bedtime routine of running through the house naked as I try to wrangle him into the shower. Manage to bathe child and wrestle him into PJs. Read to him. Lights out.

7:30 Head back downstairs, crack open laptop and spend rest of the evening playing Bejeweled and live Twittering whatever TV show I’m watching.

10:30 Get in bed and read a few chapters of whatever novel I’m into.

12:00 Realize I have to be up in six hours. Curse self for not getting more sleep. Dream of weremonkeys.