Nicole Peeler here. I’m the author of TEMPEST RISING, a book that will introduce you to a whole slew of mythological creatures above and beyond your standard werewolf/vampire/zombie triad. Indeed, I’ve been getting a lot of attention for writing about selkies, which are seal-human shapeshifters. Overall, there’s been lots of positive interest, but every once and a while a skeptic comes along, who asks, “What the hell do selkies DO, anyway? And how can they be hotter than vampires?”

So to fire up the debate, and get all you landlubbers thinking, I’ve outlined the Top Five Reasons that Selkies are Hotter than Vampires:

1. Emo is so ’96 – Join the swim team! Marilyn Manson or Michael Phelps . . . You decide.

2. Never pay market price for seafood again! We catch ’em, you grill ’em.

3. Salt water is easier to get out of sheets than blood! Who pays the laundry bills? Let’s be practical, people.

4. Not everyone is into double penetration! Two big fangs. Such little veins. Owwie Zowwie.

5. Seals give good clap! There’s nothing like a round of applause for a job well done.

Any other reasons you can think of why selkies are hotter than vampires?